When my kids were younger, I looked forward to the time when they were all in school and I could become involved on their educational experiences. Meanwhile, life happened. I got divorced and began working full time. My kids are in an alternative “experiential” program as part of the local public school that requires parent volunteerism and involvement. Very cool, I thought. Parents should be involved with their kids schooling.
I started off with the best intentions, signing up to volunteer twice a month, once in kindergarten and once in second grade. I would take my lunch break, travel across town, help kids paste, write or do math and then drive back, wolf lunch and dive into afternoon meetings.
Three years in, I just can’t do all of that. My work has become a bigger job. So then the Friday night potluck shows up and all the parents bring homemade Mac n cheese, healthy salads and Quinoa salad. How do I not feel inadequate with my carrots and hummus from bags?!
Being a single parents has taught me so much more than words can say. But one of the major lessons has been learning to let go. When I was a stay at home mom, I was one of those making pesto from the garden mamas. Now? Not so much. I think part of it is letting go of my ego, my expectations for myself as a parent and the thought that my kids have less because I brought carrots and hummus. They are so loved, from every fiber in my being. Sometimes that means I bring carrots and hummus and they have a more balance mom. So be it.
So I release the expectations I have set up for myself. I honor that I am doing a good job, I bring my carrots and hummus, and I let that be okay. And we all have a really good time.