Don’t stop believing

summer 2012 063I’ve had two great loves of my life. The first was a school girl crush on a smart football star which led to 7 years, three beautiful kids, and eventually divorce and single parenthood. The second was with a shooting star that I loved deeply. He was bright, firey, magical and on a spiritual life mission. That one ended too, not because I wanted it too but I guess that star was too bright to stay on this planet.

It get’s me down sometimes. Being a single person and a single parent. Lonely, tired and unsure. Visions of special holidays, family vacations, and snuggly times by the fire seem like postcards from someone else’s life. I want to visit and send my own postcards too someday.

A person could choose to be sad in my situation. Dreams that have turned out to be just that, dreams. And while I do feel sad or lonesome from time to time, mostly I believe. I believe in love. I believe in goodness. I believe in family and hope and special holidays. So I write. I pray, hug my children, trim the Christmas tree and breathe as much love into this life as possible. I share special moments with my children, I drive 1500 miles for our family vacation, I snuggle and read books with my kids by the fire, and remind them everyday how dearly they are loved.

One could look at my life and feel “bad” for me and yet we all have things we struggle with. If you ask me most days, I say I am rich behold measure, if your measurement is love. So I guess I have had more than two great loves. I have three big loves, my children. Whatever it is that you struggle with, know that it is making you the beautiful soul that you are and never ever stop believing.


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