It’s Tuesday, but it should be at least Thursday with the amount of things that have happened so far this week. Do you ever look at one of those hamsters running constantly and relate to their struggle? This week I do. Tonight I have a babysitter for my three kids. My plan was to have dinner out with friends, but that didn’t happen. I thought about cancelling, or going to Zumba or a myriad of other things that I could have done. But instead, I am paying a babysitter so I can let my soul catch up with me. And that feels like an excellent investment. It’s not glamorous, fabulous, or super fun but it is real.
So tonight instead of drinks with friends I am having mac and cheese made by someone other than me. Hallelujah! I am doing MY laundry instead of everyone else’s. I am organizing my painting supplies and I might even watch a movie, without cartoon characters. It is a delicious evening.
My kid and work times are pretty great too, there have just been a lot of them, plus dentists, doctors, class meeting, and on and on. This morning I woke up the kiddos with tickles, we had a kitchen dance party and made smoothies. It was delightful. Work was enjoyable too, a meeting with 30 development directors, brainstorming with AmeriCorps members, planning our next big fundraiser with lots of purses, a pretty good day. And now it is time for a little me time. It took me a long and slightly painful (at times) journey to figure out that it’s ok to do nothing. To just be and renew.
Some wise person told me once that balance is not the act of spreading yourself out evenly in all directions. It is the practice of doing something (an activity, meeting, drive) and then coming back to center over and over again. What a difference this makes when I remember. Another wise friend shared the idea that in any situation there is a good decision and the right decision. It would have been good decision to see friends. It is the right decision to be home taking care of myself. After all, you are the only you that you have.
So the next time your week looks like a crossword puzzle written in pen by your kiddo, be gentle to yourself and take some time for renewal. You deserve it, just because.