There are times in life when we get to stand up for ourselves. We get to stand tall and say that’s enough, no more, thank you very much. If you are member of the family (which of course we all are in some way or another) you have likely had this experience. As a toddler you said “NO” to your parents. As a teenager making your way in the world, you individuated from your parents. As a grown up, perhaps with kids and older parents, you get to practice more. Practice learning who you are and standing up for that.
Sometimes that means, little things like telling your child not to blow out the candle you just lit…again. Or telling your boss that you have tasks currently and can’t take on another.
Other times, using the muscles we have grown by upholding our boundaries over and over, we need to flex our truth bigger. This can be hard for some of us. The people pleasers who would much rather say, “Could you please stop standing on my toe, you have been doing that for several hours and it is very uncomfortable.” Instead of, “GET OFF OF MY TOE, please!”
Stand up for yourself! Just as you would your mother, daughter, son, brother, partner, sister. Would you stand back and watch someone treat your child the way you let yourself be treated sometimes? Perhaps it helps to not ruffle feathers but is that what we want to emulate, to teach others?
Short disclaimer: I believe in problem solving, talking it out, nonviolence, nonviolent communication and peace. AND, if someone is stepping on your toe for yeeeeears, that you have the right to tell them to get off…with vocal enthusiasm.
So, if this rings true to you. If you have been so nice for so long and put up with things that don’t feel ok with you, speak up! I don’t mean to get mean or vicious or hurtful. I mean “speak your truth even if your voice shakes”. It’s what needs to happen from time to time. We need to dust off our courage, get clear about our visions, truths and say it outloud.
Here goes. “I am a valuable human being, filled with love and goodness. I deserve to be treated as such. Get off my toe!”
Try it, it’s exfoliating for your soul. I recommend adding chocolate as well. It’s the perfect mixture of sweet and strong.
And if that wasn’t enough of a kick in the pants to treat yourself well and announce to others that anything else is unacceptable, listen to this. And then, start the treating yourself well revolution. You’ve got this.