It’s spring, the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming and I should be loving it! I am bored out of my mind.
See I have had a transition in my relationship status. Let’s just say, I went from cooking special meals for someone and my kids, to cooking meals for me and my kids. Try as I might, the kids just don’t seem to appreciate green vegetables the way he did. Go figure!
I will not bore you with the break up details, but let’s just say currently I vacillate between sad and trying not to reach out and “just say hi”. Which is breakup code for “I miss you, just checking in to see if you still miss me”.
So…what to do with myself? How do I want to fill up the hours that are now vacant and staring at me? The hours he used to inhabit? I could read more, but I’m too tired. I could exercise more, but I still have 3 kids who don’t seem to want to run with me. Can you believe that?! I could call friends and go out to dinner, always good. I could write more or pick up my paintbrushes, all good stuff. But I’m still bored.
I’m hungry for the spark he brought to my life. Don’t get me wrong, we broke up for good reasons, but I do miss the way he made me feel. The way he made me laugh and believe in myself.
I like to pretend I know what I’m doing, but really I’m just taking it one day at a time like most of us are.
Tonight I’m heading to bed early, with the intention of welcoming the new day from a rested place. Even if I feel bored, at least I won’t be tired. And maybe while I sleep, I will remember how to be content in this moment and know that all is well.