The hard days are there to teach us too.

It’s been a rough patch with one of my kiddos the last couple of days. As I sit in my office, I feel like crying in to my Americano. Being a parent isn’t an easy road. And yet we alwasy hold the intention of goodness and light in our kids even when they say mean things.

The learning for me over the past couple of days is still unfolding but the biggest theme is… I am not here to be “nice”, my job is to be loving, consistent and hold the line for respect and kindness towards others. I am not here to make sure my kids are perfectly “happy all the time”, meaning giving them everything they want all the time. Sometimes a mama needs to follow her intuition and hold the line for truth and responsibility, even if they don’t like it.

Last night one of my kiddos boycotted an household responsibility that they agreed to do. I could have let it go, but what does that teach? Instead I said, you agreed to do this and I will be here every step of the way supporting you until that task is done. And, you will loose privileges for tonight and tomorrow because being respectful and truthful are values our family holds. That as not popular. The task eventually got done and a loving wrap up to the day was had for all. And then the morning came, and this kiddo forgot about the loss of privileges. Again, not popular. After the screaming, came the silent treatment. And still I held the line, and behaved lovingly. I stayed with the mantra, “I will walk through fire to show you the magnificence of your own being, always. I will model kindness, love, and responsibility, even when you don’t like it.” This is this mama’s credo, and I breath it.

As I put makeup on in the car because I had other priorities this morning, a tear or two messes it up. And that’s ok because my love is big enough for the little and the big things.

Parenting is the most fascinating road I have ever walked. Heart-warming and heart-breaking, sometimes in the same day.

The challenges from the last couple of days have given me renewed vigor in my purpose as a parent. I believe we can learn great lessons from hard moments.

If I could write my kids a short note right now it would look like this…

Dear kiddos,
I am your biggest fan and your greatest supporter. I will teach you to be a loving member of our community. I will encourage you, laugh with you, mentor you and hold the vision of your greatness, even when you don’t believe it. That’s because I’m your mother, and that’s my job.
I love you,
Mom

That’s my learning from this morning. Happy learning to you in this day.

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One thought on “The hard days are there to teach us too.

  1. Dearest One, Thank you for this cup of “Mother Wisdom” ! Your children are so very blessed that they have the umbrella of your light covering them during these years. This is a time when they are strengthening their own experience of the truth of their beings, continuing to grow, and to learn to fly. Your passion and courage to represent the truth for them is HUGE.

    Many children have grown up without parents who had the strength, vision, conviction, knowledge and skills to help them discover their own greatness, and learn to master the energies that aren’t their truth. As a quote goes: “And you shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free”. This is such a vital time as they learn who they really are and who they aren’t and discover how to navigate the obstacles that inevitably surface within and around them in life.

    I think you have a team of angels cheering you on, loving you, supporting you in this! Angels dearly love children, and want deeply for them to learn to see, and let go of, the smaller self, (lower case s), and choose to honor and express their True Self (capital S).

    Down the road of life a ways yet, after the umbrella of home, they will be in the world, no longer with the constant compass of your guidance of love and wisdom. As you take the time now to help them learn the skills needed after they leave the nest someday, it’s as if you (and the angels with you) are strong enough to be choosing the “Road Less Traveled” – the road with some bumps on it, so you can teach them how to navigate the challenges in life. As the saying goes – “Give me a fish and I’ll have fish for a day, teach me to fish and I’ll have fish for a lifetime.”

    Life seems to be all about right choices – learning to say YES! to things that are found under the banner of LOVE, TRUTH AND LIFE. Teaching them this, they will have this internal compass to navigate through the challenges.

    I think they call this “Tough Love” because at times it is very Tough! It’s about being big enough and loving enough to choose an uncomfortable experience over a comfortable one. When I grew up I never learned to iron. My mom was very kind and always did this. So I didn’t need to do this and felt very comfortable that she did this for me. That is, until the day when I left home to go to college. There I found many tears awaiting me, realizing that I never grew up in some ways, and although I was supposed to be an “adult” I still had some basics to learn.

    What you have the courage to be doing seems like it’s an assignment to help develop a backpack of “invisible gifts” they will wear some day, as they navigate the path to fulfilling their destiny. Because of you, and those who love them, they can access a “consciousness compass” of values and right and wrong use of God’s energy in life. When they’ve failed one of these tests, they can remember their beautiful qualities and talents that are their truth, because you illumined them and helped them grow. When they are tempted to make wrong choices, they can choose again, and avoid the penalties life brings to those who live “outside of the law of truth and right values”.

    Hardly an easy road at times, and yet, the only road for a Mom who truly loves her children and wants to help equip them with the skills needed for a victorious life. Quite a hat to wear, and yet one showered daily with sparkles of light from the angels in heaven who are with you, helping you, inspiring you, applauding you. Thank goodness you are never alone in this. Never ever, though it can seem that way. You are always accompanied by your Guardian Angel, (your Higher Self), and by the forces of love that are always, always, always there.

    Someday, when we’re on “the other side” we hope to hear “well done, thou good and faithful one, well done”. Until then, we keep on loving, praying, and holding in our hearts the vision of the truth of those we are blessed to touch upon life’s pathway. Loving you ! Ever grateful for your inspiring and resilient Presence in this world! Mom

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