It’s been a rough patch with one of my kiddos the last couple of days. As I sit in my office, I feel like crying in to my Americano. Being a parent isn’t an easy road. And yet we alwasy hold the intention of goodness and light in our kids even when they say mean things.
The learning for me over the past couple of days is still unfolding but the biggest theme is… I am not here to be “nice”, my job is to be loving, consistent and hold the line for respect and kindness towards others. I am not here to make sure my kids are perfectly “happy all the time”, meaning giving them everything they want all the time. Sometimes a mama needs to follow her intuition and hold the line for truth and responsibility, even if they don’t like it.
Last night one of my kiddos boycotted an household responsibility that they agreed to do. I could have let it go, but what does that teach? Instead I said, you agreed to do this and I will be here every step of the way supporting you until that task is done. And, you will loose privileges for tonight and tomorrow because being respectful and truthful are values our family holds. That as not popular. The task eventually got done and a loving wrap up to the day was had for all. And then the morning came, and this kiddo forgot about the loss of privileges. Again, not popular. After the screaming, came the silent treatment. And still I held the line, and behaved lovingly. I stayed with the mantra, “I will walk through fire to show you the magnificence of your own being, always. I will model kindness, love, and responsibility, even when you don’t like it.” This is this mama’s credo, and I breath it.
As I put makeup on in the car because I had other priorities this morning, a tear or two messes it up. And that’s ok because my love is big enough for the little and the big things.
Parenting is the most fascinating road I have ever walked. Heart-warming and heart-breaking, sometimes in the same day.
The challenges from the last couple of days have given me renewed vigor in my purpose as a parent. I believe we can learn great lessons from hard moments.
If I could write my kids a short note right now it would look like this…
I am your biggest fan and your greatest supporter. I will teach you to be a loving member of our community. I will encourage you, laugh with you, mentor you and hold the vision of your greatness, even when you don’t believe it. That’s because I’m your mother, and that’s my job.
I love you,
That’s my learning from this morning. Happy learning to you in this day.