On my own

images (11)The tea kettle whistles softly,
a spoonful of coffee
for one
waits for steaming water.

Five kids asleep
from a sleepover last night.

Sleeping bags
and stuffed animals
spread out,
many configurations
all over the floor.

I start pancakes,
because it’s Sunday,
a ritual brought over from a time that feels like
long ago.

I’m learning to do many things on my own.

I took apart my son’s bike
and fixed it yesterday.

Greasy hands and screwdriver,
a boy and his bike
reunited again.

His radiant smile,
made it all worthwhile.

I’m learning to be both parents,
as best I can.

Surrounded by a caring community,
they pick me up
when I feel down,
and remind me that I am capable
when I feel not.

Most days,
I feel like the luckiest person in the world,
to witness these kids
growing up,
so many beautiful moments
shared.

Right now,
this is exactly where I need to be.

Someday,
after a long day,
I would like to snuggle into bed
and be held closely,
as the day turns to night.
Someday.

But today,
I sip coffee,
gaze at this sleeping faces,
and feel grateful
that I am learning to believe in myself,
and be able to do this,
a little more each day,
on my own.

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