Being OK with Where You Are

20141213-110627.jpg Anyone who has ever been alive for awhile knows that life as ups and downs. One could say it’s a roller coaster but that seems a little dramatic or cliche. But there is some truth to the exhilarating yet nauseating ride, with beautiful vistas.

I have been thinking recently about we deal with our natural and yet uncomfortable feelings that go with life.

For a long time I thought I was doing something wrong if I was unhappy. I thought happiness was what we are supposed to experience here on this blue and green ball floating through space, all the time. I sought happiness for a long time, because THEN I will know I was doing it right. As I have been growing and meditating over the last few years on life and love and growth and happiness, I have realized differently.

I don’t mean to bust your bubble, but I don’t think we ever get to a place where we are happy all the time. I know, it’s a big downer. Or maybe not.

You see, all of the striving for happiness means that we are not really as present in the daily moments of our lives as we could be. If we have an overall malaise, and assumption that when we have a perfect relationship, body or job, then we will be complete, we are missing the boat. We are missing the moments that make up a life. A joyful life.

I’m a single mom. That means I have all kinds of non-glamourous duties like figuring out what to do when the power goes out, how to transport all three kids to activities that start at the same time, and searching for coins in the middle of the night because the tooth fairy is late.
More than once I have cried into the toilet I’m plunging after a 12 day at work.

It’s hard and beautiful at the same time.

I’m the one that tucks them in and kisses their sweet foreheads, I fix things with band aids, a hammer and superglue. I clap loudly at performances and sporting events. This is the real stuff that makes up life. A joyful life.

I’m mostly over the “I shouldn’t have to do this by myself – woe is me” narrative… unless I’m plunging the toilet. Mostly I just feel incredibly grateful to be gifted with these three children to care for with more love than I thought I had the capacity to experience. They have changed my life.

So am I OK where I am? I am. Is my life easy or happy all the time, nope. But that’s ok. Because this is the good stuff, the stuff that makes up a life, a real life, a joyful life.

May you truly see and appreciate the love and happiness you have in your life. Today, and all of the days going forward.

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