Show up Fully

Tonight as I did the dishes and cleaned the entire kitchen like I usually do, I realized I’ve been waiting for someone else to show up. In a lot of little ways.

I’ve been doing the dishes 85% of the way and hoping someone else will do the rest. I’ve been hoping that dinners will be with a partner so someone else will help with the manners talks. I’ve been hoping someone will show up and help me with the sex and drugs conversations too. I tackle all of these things but not 100% like I own it and it’s my job. Um hello, it is my job. If I do the dishes 85% of the way, my kids will grow up and learn that’s how you do it.

So today, I cleaned the daylights out of the kitchen, the bathroom and folded an epic amount of laundry. Not just because it needed to get done, but because we all deserve it.

I’d like to call myself a creative person, and I think that has also been an excuse for a long time, if I’m being honest here. I have a gazillion works in process all the time and yet rarely do I finish them. Well, it’s time to embrace finishing things without the excuses. So far this month I have knitted 2 hats and a beautiful prayer shawl. I have at least 12 books I am currently reading. Time to read one at a time and feel the sense of completion that comes from finishing something. You know how clutter clouds our brains with stuff and then we have less available energy to use? I think this is the same thing – uncompleted projects clutter. I don’t know where I got this little pattern, I think most of it is rooted in enthusiasm and wanting to do everything at once! But that saying is so true “don’t try to do everything, you will end up doing nothing.” Word.

So as winter break comes to a close and I go back to work, I will pick a few choice projects and follow those through. Who knows what can be learned from slowing down and truly finishing things. My guess is a sense of peaceful completion. And that sounds lovely.

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