You will not break me 

Today was a day full of challenges.

Rude privilege,

Entitlement, 

Disengagement.

Clouds,

Mishaps,

And traffic jams.

On top of all of it, 

After hours of work,  

And piles of paper, 

And messages from loves of  the past, 

I came home,

Made dinner for my three kids, 

And said gratitudes. 

I walked into the bathroom 

To put on my well earned pajamas,

Flushed the gift someone left in the toilet, 

And it overflowed, 

Everywhere. 

I have dealt with this before, 

But today, 

It 

Will. Not. Unclog.

Not after 15 minutes 

Or 30 minutes. 

In my half work and half pajamas, 

I fall on my bed,

In exhaustion and despair.

Where is someone, 

A partner,

When you need them? 

And then, I remembered, 

I have been through harder things. 

This sucks, 

And… 

It will not break me. 

I am made of tougher stuff than this. 

I am made of stardust, rose petals and laughter.

I come from generations of fierce warrior women.  

I will never allow, 

Anything, 

To break me. 

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A gorgeous day 

 Today was a marvelous day. Bright visions for work and good people to be working with. 

Dresses in my size and color and the store. 

Chocolate dipped fruit at the coffee shop.

It’s been a while since I have written, life has been full. I got a promotion and I still can’t believe that I get paid to do wonderful meaningful work that I love. 

My kids are wonderful. My daughter is bright and delightful. She has her moments of being 12 and testing mom but it’s with a delightful flare that makes me smile.

My two monkey boys are playing baseball and chess, and rocking it.

Tonight I sat with a friend who is very special to me. Writing and talking and enjoying a delightful dinner of gluten free Panini’s and kale. If you haven’t been to Obsidian in downtown Olympia, go. It’s delightful. Such a lovely way to wrap up an incredibly gorgeous day. 

If only I could talk to your soul

Oh, that I could talk to your soul.

That we could be agents of change,
inspired by each other’s
passion for purpose.

Aside,
putting
history, disfunction
and hurt away.

No longer to drive our way.

We are mission focused,
driven by a fire inside
that churns for freedom.

Gone,
are the days of answers known.

Only the light guides us
through the crowd of people scared,
and lost.

If only,
we could shout
“we know the way, follow us!”

Engage!
in this life,
this journey.

Run towards the truth,
the feeling of home that is your birthright.

If only I could talk to your soul.

All kinds of life – savor it.

Big, bold days filled with kids laughter, work priorities, love and spiritual connection. This is my life. It’s full, overflowing at times. The schedule of sports, meetings and to do lists can feel complicated at times. This is real life.

It’s a constant act of balancing, adjusting priorities, eating more or less ice cream depending on the season.

What’s the lesson when life is full to the brim? Enjoy. Soak up the moments that fill your life with love. If you don’t, you will just feel like you are rushing around with no purpose. My purpose is love. To love my kids, my partner, my work in nonprofit service, my family, my home and my friends and neighbors. It’s really that simple.

What are you doing today to share a little love with the world? Go ahead- smile at someone, buy coffee for the person behind you in line, think the best of your boss, share an inspiring thought on Facebook. When life feels full, I give. It opens my heart even more and helps me appreciate the beauty if my abundant life. When life feels full, I savor. Soaking up the moments- the spices that make up my morning coffee, the daffodils springing awake, and the rainbows between the raindrops.

Go ahead, give yourself permission to enjoy the beauty of your life. Take off the “I’m so busy glasses” and put on your “appreciation” glasses. The view is very different. Enjoy the view!

Looking for change

Every once in awhile I get disgruntled about something, work, our house, whatever and I go looking for change. I hop on craigslist to see what else is out there. I check in with friends and see what’s new with them so I can live vicariously when my to do list feels boring.

It occurs to me that this is a reaction to the situation, whatever that might be, too much work, etc.

What would it look like if we moved towards what we want on a regular basis instead of being jump started by displeasure. I get that there are a lot of things that create change. Some of it is organic, some created by outside pressures and some change comes from listening to that quiet little voice within us.

So many of us live busy lives and how many of us honestly stop to say, “what do I want?” I mean REALLY want. I’ve done this before but it occurs to me that it is a process instead of a one time thing. What do I really want right now? It’s the same thing it was 3 months ago but I haven’t taken action on it so it’s still there. Oh.

After you have asked yourself what you really want, one of the best ways to make change is to make small changes in the direction of goal. Always wanted to be a painter? Sign up for 1 class, just 1 and check it out.

Here’s one that seems obvious but it VERY helpful…take a look at how you are spending your time. How much are you surfing facebook instead of writing the great American novel. How much are you helping others with their goals and not focusing on yours? Are you busy all the time? With what? If you want to create change, it’s important create some space for that to happen. You don’t have to drop everything, but honoring that you would like to create something new and allowing time for that is an important step in manifesting the life of your dreams.

Happy Travels!

Gratitude for this beautiful day

Today was a delicious day filled with many things to he grateful for.

As a small nonprofit, we are constantly trying to make community change happen, on a limited budget. Today a new volunteer dropped from the sky. He has a high level of expertise and is jumping right in starting tomorrow!

Tonight was our Leadership giving reception to thank our largest donors. We filled a beautiful historic old house with local foods and wines and people that love our mission. Our guest speaker is the medical director for our local free clinic. Her words were so beautifully crafted. She started by saying that people give because they are motivated by love, that it starts a chain reaction that helps those who need it the most. So beautiful. The caterer gave me flowers, left over goodies, and an auction item worth $500 dollars. The Winemaker gave me the last freshly made macaroon… Heaven.

Then I did something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, I got brave. I went over to house of someone important to me and told him things I’ve wanted to say for a very long time. I hope he really heard me, because I meant it all from the heart. And even if we never end up together again, I told him. I’m so proud of me.

I came home to the sounds of sweet kid feet running down the stairs and big huggy arms.

I am grateful.

On the open sea

I am a sailor,
out on the wide open sea.
The sun at my back,
the horizon my direction.

When I started out it was all new to me. I didn’t know how to sail so I stared down into the ocean,
curious about its mystic depths.
After awhile, my eyes started to hurt from straining to see and my neck got a crick in it. After quite sometime if doing that I realized, I was going in circles.

One day, I looked up. I saw with new bravery where I wanted to go and it wasn’t deep in the ocean anymore.

Now, I look forward. I see so much more than I did before. Possibility, expansiveness, trust.

The whole world seems open. There is so much beauty to see and explore.

A saw a bluebird fly by. Beautiful bird, I used to be fascinated by them, their song, industrious nature and beauty. And while they are lovely, it’s the eagle that catches my gaze these days. Soaring majestic and effortless. I am in awe watching their graceful movement and clear sense of direction. No more little wings flapping, just soaring from here on out.

Seeing the vast horizon in the distance, I go about learning sails and ropes. And then, I take off. Gliding easily towards the open sea.

It’s time. Time to focus on the horizon, and sail steadfastly in the direction I am meant to go.

Happy sailing.

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Warm November wishes

It’s a blustery day around this neck of the woods. A few have lost power already and our’s is flickering away. November is welcoming us with blowing leaves off the trees by the handful. Warm oatmeal with raspberries fill our tummies as we get ready for the day.

Quite moments of refection enter amidst the raindrops.

Gratitude for warmth, family and those that love us.

Compassion for those weathering the storm outside today.

Adele’s “Someone like you” hums in my head while I putter about folding laundry and smiling at my kids.

These days that aren’t flashy or exciting, just sweet.

I’m savoring this moment. I hope you can take a moment in your day and savor it too.

Warm wishes from our house to yours.

Ode to Autumn leaves

Our backyard is home to some of the most glorious Maple trees I have ever seen. We have 5 or 6 that tower over the house and shed their huge leaves in this season.

It started in late August. One morning as I sipped tea and ate oatmeal with blueberries, a yellow-brown leaf cascaded down and landed itself right next to my bowl. As if a gentle welcome and acknowledgement of the season’s change.

In September, the leaves started to fall more steadily. Leaves the size of dinner plates, lending autumn colors to the green lawn. An interwoven pattern, beautiful to view from the window. A walk through leaves, bringing music to the ears. The symphony of crunching leaves as we walk slowly through.

In October, we raked huge piles. Six kids and I with rakes, until it was jumping time. And they did, over and over until dusk arrived and the air turned cool. Memories made with neighborhood friends, priceless.

It’s November, this weekend we raked up the remainder of the leaves. It was a blue sky day, I worked for hours, dancing with my rake when no one was looking. The kids stopped riding bikes and playing basketball to wagon our treasures to the compost where they can turn into rich soil for our garden in the spring.

We could have mowed the leaves up or turned on one of those leaf blowers but I’m so thankful we didn’t. All of the raking, laughter, and hard work makes the transition to a new season seem right on cue. We are ready for the air to turn crisper and frost to collect on the grass, all because of our dance with the autumn leaves. Our hearts warmed by good exercise, the vibrant colors and the smell in the air, this is our ode to Autumn leaves.

Happy Fall from our house to yours!

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It’s a red hot day.

1235944_10202068959069002_6358054_nIt all started when I pulled out my red patent leather 3 inch heels. I knew it was a big day. So I figured, “Go big or go home”.

Today was our fundraising kickoff for the fall season. My work is to raise a whole lot of money to help those in need in our community. Instead of the usual speeches about why giving is important and statistics about the level of need in our community, I decided to kick it up a notch. Yes, it’s important to give and support our community. And, it can be fun. Our keynote speaker’s business won the “Hottest new workplace campaign” two years ago. So when he got up to the podium to talk about his “hotness” award and said, ” we are on fire.” I had a fire truck parked outside and firefighters rushed to the stage and “put him out”. The audience loved it. Especially the women, or so I assume from the hollering. They were wearing t-shirts under their bunker gear to support our cause. The audience looked up from their salads and took notice, I think we got their attention and that is half the battle. The other half is getting people involved. Our campaign chair issued a challenge to get involved and become the new hottest workplace campaign by giving to our community, volunteering or championing a cause you believe in.  It was a big hit with this crowd of business leaders.

After our presentation, I thanked the firefighters for their help and we took a few pictures. I even wore a firefighter coat, goodness those are heavy. It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it. We are baking them cupcakes to say thank you.

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It was a red hot day in other ways too. Yesterday was 75 degrees, today 90. Climate change is happening people. I certainly didn’t mind today but just sayin.

After work, I kicked off those red heels and made dinner for the fam.  Just as I was settling in for the evening, I got into a big argument with a family member. I think steam was coming out of my ears, or at a minimum I was seeing red. Instead of stewing, I marched my frustrated self downstairs and hit the treadmill. Oh, how I love that thing. Much cheaper than therapy and I don’t even need an appointment.

With the steam let out, I went upstairs to tuck my sweet kiddos into bed. I painted my daughter’s fingernails. Not red, but hot pink and blue.

It was a red hot day. A good day. I wonder what color tomorrow will be?